You Are Not Your Exam Results — A Therapist’s Message to Young People
This is written by me - a Therapist (and also a parent) Who’s Seen This Before — And Knows You’ll Be Okay. Julie.
Hey there,
If you’re reading this, chances are things didn’t go quite the way you hoped with your exam results. First, take a deep breath. I know how painful, disappointing, and even scary this moment can feel. I want you to know - as a therapist who has worked with many young people just like you - that this result doesn’t define you. It doesn’t decide your future. And most importantly, it doesn’t reduce your worth.
Let’s Be Honest — This Hurts
It’s okay to feel upset, angry, embarrassed, or numb. Maybe you studied hard and still fell short. Maybe life threw things at you that made it hard to focus. Or maybe you didn’t put in as much as you wish you had, and now you’re regretting it. Whatever your story is, it’s valid. You are allowed to feel what you’re feeling.
But let’s also be kind to yourself here. This is one moment in a much bigger journey.
Your Worth Is Not Measured in Grades
One of the biggest myths we grow up believing is that our exam results are everything - that they determine how smart, capable, or successful we’ll be. But life is so much more complex, and full of opportunity than one set of grades.
Some of the most successful, fulfilled, and brilliant people I know didn’t shine in exams. But they found other ways to grow. They learned from failure. They asked for help. They kept going.
Failure Is Not the End - It’s Feedback
When we fall short, it doesn’t mean we’re not good enough. It means we’re human. And from a therapeutic point of view, moments like this - as painful as they are - can actually become turning points.
Instead of seeing this result as a full stop, try seeing it as a comma - a pause. An opportunity to ask:
What can I learn from this?
What support do I need?
What’s the next step I can take?
Therapy is often about reframing - changing how we look at things so we can move forward. You still have so many options. Colleges, apprenticeships, resits, new directions - they’re all valid paths.
Talk About It
Please don’t go through this alone. Talk to someone - a parent, a teacher, a friend, or a counsellor. The pressure to seem fine when you’re not is real, but opening up can be a relief. You don’t need to have all the answers right now.
Sometimes we need others to remind us of who we are when we forget.
A Gentle Reminder
You are not behind. You are not a failure. You are not stuck. You are in a moment of transition. And that’s something all of us go through at different times - not just with exams, but with jobs, relationships, and life in general.
Moving Forward, One Step at a Time
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, focus on just one small step today - whether it’s reaching out to someone, exploring your options, or simply taking care of your mental health.
Your journey might look different than you imagined - but different doesn’t mean worse. Sometimes, it means better in ways you never expected. Be kind to yourself.